Tag Archives: Parenting

Day 411

Some people don’t deserve to have kids – that’s what I learned today 😦

It’s 6: 49 PM on day 411 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth,tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign –no luck – feed myself scrambled eggs, sausages and fried tomatoes   for breakfast,  prepare and publish my Disability of the Day feature,   prepare my Kid of the Week feature for Sunday – I really like this week’s Kid of the Week she is proof that you only need a huge heart to make a difference :)– and finish reading Captive of my Desires by Johanna Lindsey  – It’s a good book I would recommend it to anyone who likes romance novels 🙂

As you know my father and I don’t have the best relationship but today after I saw him, not for the first time, raise his hand to my mother over something as small as asking him to  pay somebody money so that we could go to a community member’s farewell party tomorrow–everybody who is going to the party is expected to contribute a certain amount which will go towards buying a farewell gift for the family that is leaving – I thought to myself what kind of a man would raise his hand to his wife in front of their child and lost all respect for him as a human being which is not to say my mother was a complete innocent in all this after my father stepped out of the house my mother started having a candid conversation with my eleven-year-old brother about how horrible she thought our father was which I promptly put a stop to because although I didn’t respect my father I believed that my brother deserved a chance to make up his own mind about him without my mother’s influence. Are you behaving in a manner that is consistent with being a parent?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 387

We have to teach kids that nobody but them is responsible for their lives – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 6: 49 PM on day 387 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself yoghurt for breakfast,  prepare and publish my Disability of the Day feature,  tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign –no luck – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, exercise for a few minutes –my hamstrings were SO tight – and watch TV.

Today I said to my brother I challenge you to do fifty push-ups – he’s overweight according to his paediatrician – to which he responded if I accept your challenge will you let me use the laptop I thought about it for a minute and said no I won’t bribe you to take care of your body in that moment I realized that that’s where most parents go wrong they beg and plead with their kids to do their homework, exercise, ect when they should be trying to make them understand that if they don’t do what their supposed to do they are the ones who will pay in the end. Are you teaching your kids that they and only they are responsible for the outcome of their lives?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Days 372

The way others feel about you is none of your business – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 7: 07 PM on day 372 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, practice writing by hand, answer some question for my forthcoming profile on The Blogunteer–I used both hands to type the answers I am SO proud of myself 🙂 – feed myself a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck truth-be-told I am not trying that hard my first priority is becoming more independent which does not mean I no longer care about my campaign it just means I won’t chase after people for donations  – feed myself spaghetti bolognaise  for lunch – I used a fork and even less of a mess than yesterday I am SO proud of myself 🙂 – watch TV, continue reading Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, feed myself grilled chicken and tomatoes for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Yesterday I overheard my parents taking about the NBT’s – national benchmark test, a test that all the universities in South Africa look at before they decide to accept you into the university or not – and what my sister was going to study after school it was only in that moment that I truly understood how much pressure was on my sister and the guilt of it overwhelmed me because I knew that my parents had basically written me off as someone with no future which meant that my sister and brother – both younger than me – had to work extra hard just so that my parents could have at least two kids to brag to their friends about but now I realize that I can’t control the level of expectations my parents have for their children and that although it hurts that they don’t expect me to be anything it doesn’t mean I won’t be. Is the way you feel about yourself dependent on how others feel about you?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 333

I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common — they all wanted validation. … They want to know, do you hear me? Do you see me? Does what I say mean anything to you? – Oprah Winfrey

It’s 7: 36 PM on day 333 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – compile a post for Youth Voices – a group headed by my friend Mark McKinney – prepare my Kid of the Week feature for Sunday, feed myself rice and curry for lunch, listen to music – I LOVE Who Says by Selena Gomez (press play and listen to the song below) it’s song for every girl – go to physiotherapy, watch TV and feed myself steamed vegetables for dinner.

A couple of days ago Dr. Joni Redlich@JoniRedlich on Twitter – asked me What have been ur best /worst PT – physiotherapy – experiences – she’s a pediatric physical therapist specializing in children with developmental disabilities I suppose that’s why she was curious – and I replied I don’t have a worst PT experience my best was meeting my 2nd PT she makes me feel seen 🙂 not realizing how true that actually was until today because although my mom tries her hardest there are days when I just need her emotionally but she’s too busy taking care of me physically – making sure that I’m bathed etc – to notice which is – I know that this is not a fair comparison since I only see my physiotherapist every two weeks for thirty minutes but please bear with me – totally different to what happens when I’m with my physiotherapist – we talk about politics, sports, books, movies, what’s going on in my life, what’s going in her life basically everything except for my “disability” – my point is your kids don’t want the things you can buy for them or the things you can do for them all they want is to know that you see them like I know my physiotherapist sees me – first and foremost as a human being. Do you make it a point to validate people when they interact with you?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 311

Everyone knows something useful which others probably don’t. If you are an expert in your field, use that expertise to blog. Write down what you know most about or what you’re most passionate about. And blog it! Remember, knowledge which is not shared, is useless.Nicky (@rocksstar10 on Twitter)

It’s 8: 28 PM on day 311 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth – twice once before my mother left for work and once after she was in a hurry to leave for work and she didn’t give me time to brush my teeth properly the first time– watch TV, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – feed myself chicken briyani for lunch, tweet about my campaign some more–still no luck :(– feed myself for whole-grain bread and avocado for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Yesterday I was reading If a tragedy happens and nobody cries, is it still a tragedy? on Outrageous Fortune – a blog written by a mother of twins one of whom – Malachi – happens to have Cerebral Palsy – and as I read it I could not help but feel offended and hurt by the insinuations that her son was deficient in some way but this morning I woke up and realized that I should advise rather than criticize so I came up with a list of things that I wish someone had told my parents when I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Take a look

The Do’s and Do’s of Raising a Child with a “Disability”

• Start the necessary therapies e.g. physiotherapy, speech therapy and occupational therapy as early as possible so that it will be a part of your child’s lifestyle

• Read as much as you can about your child’s condition

• Get connected with other parents that are facing the same challenges that you are (you know the saying it takes a village to raise a child I think that is particularly true if you’re raising a child with a “disability”)

• Treat your child with a “disability” as you would any of your other children while keeping his/her limitations in mind (in my school days when I got a B in math my parents would pat me on the back and say good job whereas, if my sister got a B you wouldn’t hear the end of it and although I know they were just trying to be supportive the difference in the expectations that they had for my sister and the expectations they had for me really made me feel like they didn’t give a shit (excuse the vulgar language))

• Don’t be too quick to help your child rather push him/her to do things by himself/herself otherwise what’s going to happen to him/her when you’re gone because let’s face it no matter how young you are you will die before him/her (you hope!)

• You’re child sees himself/herself through your eyes so whatever you do, DO NOT pity him/her i.e. if you pity him/her he/she will pity himself/herself.

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 283

Being a parent is about allowing your children to be who they truly are– that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 8: 58 PM on day 283 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself an egg sandwich for breakfast, read Love That Max, Chasing Rainbow and Outrageous Fortune – the first two blogs I read I’ve read a few times while I had never even heard of the third although I have to admit it was really heart-warming to read about this woman’s appreciation of her husband before I read that post I really thought that marriage was just another form of imprisonment but after reading that I’m beginning to change my mind 🙂 – watch TV, feed myself rice and curry for lunch, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck but I am hopeful because someone promised to make a donation later today 🙂 – feed myself grilled fish, potatoes and salad for dinner, and brush my teeth once more.

Today after my brother left for school in tears my mother came into my room and said I should stop asking him what J’s – his friend’s – marks are maybe that’s why he’s sad and in that moment I was SO angry that I said you love your children for what they can do and not who they are to which she responded if that was true I wouldn’t love you which suffice to say hurt my feelings. Do you love your children for who they truly are or for what they can do to bolster your image in society’s eyes?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 281

If you follow you cannot lead – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 7: 53 PM on day 281 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself an French fries and cheese puffs for breakfast, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – watch TV, tweet about my campaign some more – no luck – listen to Advice by Christina Grimmie (@TheRealGrimmie) –that song is everything I ever wanted to say to all the young girls out there (see video below) – feed myself tapioca and beef curry for lunch, continue to tweet about my campaign – still no luck  – feed myself rice and curry for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Today my brother asked my parents if he could stay home from school because his friends had bunked yesterday and on Friday and although my parents obliged him my father said this before he left if you’re staying home because you’re sick I won’t force you to go but if you’re doing this because you’re friends did it’s your life… one day your friends might start drinking will you join them and that I guess is a question for all of us am I willing to sacrifice doing what I know is right just to belong. Do you follow the crowd or choose to forge your own path?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 261

Common sense is not so common. – Voltaire

It’s 7: 09 PM on day 261 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign –no luck – read Life and Times of a Teenager With Disabilities and Bird on the Street – while I could totally relate to the first blog I found the second blog to be a lot more humorous 🙂 – feed myself a Burger for breakfast, open a packet of chips by myself – I had done it for the first time yesterday and I thought it was a fluke so glad it wasn’t 🙂 – watch TV, feed myself rice and curry for lunch, watch some more TV, feed myself a bread and jam sandwich for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Yesterday as I watching an episode of Dr. Phil entitled Overweight Teens Fight Back I realized that the solution to my brother’s weight problem was simple if the reason he gained weight was because he ate the wrong foods and didn’t exercise then it stood to reason that if we replaced those foods with good foods and encouraged him to exercise his weight would go down now if only I could get my parents onboard with this plan my mother is in denial while all my father does is criticize and enable him. Do you often make things more complicated than they actually are?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

if you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 223

The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them. – Frank A. Clark

It’s 10: 05 PM on day 223 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself Appam – A bread made of rice batter – and beef curry for breakfast and spend Easter lunch and dinner with my family (see pictures below).

Today lying on a mattress in my aunt’s TV room I heard that my cousin’s nine-year-old daughter was getting her father’s ‘old’ BlackBerry and in that moment I couldn’t help feeling as though my cousin and her husband were missing a trick with regards to their parenting because in the twenty years that I’ve been alive I’ve never owned an ordinary cellphone let alone a BlackBerry and not because I didn’t want one either but because I wanted to wait until I could pay for it myself. Are you spoiling your children by giving them everything they want on a silver platter?

My geandma and I

My grandma sleeping (I love this picture it's so cute)

My cousin's son – Shaun

My cousin’s daughter – Shannon

My sister – Neethu

Day 216

You appreciate money more when you earn it – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 10: 39 PM on day 216 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself rice and curry for lunch, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – no luck – feed myself a bread and jam sandwich for dinner and tweet about my campaign some more – still no luck.

Today I woke up to find that someone had made a donation to this blog and told my father that I could pay the electricity bill if he’d let me because although my parents had told me that their money was my money I wasn’t like most people of my generation who were more than happy to live off the fruits of their parents labour so I promised myself that I would contribute to the household expenses as soon as I started making any real money and I guess that is my message to all my peers out there who sleep until noon and sit around playing video games the rest of the day you have to have enough pride in yourself to say mom dad I am grateful for all you’ve done in raising me but I think I’ll take it from here. Have your parents robbed you of your self-esteem by giving you a free ride though this life?