Iceberg Day

When you live in an abusive household you for an extended period of time you begin to realize that the week goes in a cycle so even when things appear to be ‘back to normal’ you know from past experience that it’s just part of the cycle and that – especially for a child – is a HORRIBLE way to live because when you wake up in the morning you don’t know if today’s going to be a ‘good’ day or a ‘bad’ day or if what you – the child  –  say is going to be the thing that causes the volcano that is your house to erupt at any moment and the most tragic thing isn’t  what the  parents do to do each other during one of their outbursts but, rather what they do to their child/children – one day we were sitting in the family room watching a movie and my parents started arguing about something and something my father said that day left a scar on my heart that will NEVER disappear, he said “my life has been nothing but a misery ever since you and these kids came into it.

Every Friday I wake up with dread because I know that traditionally Friday is a beginning of a brand new cycle:

  • Day 1: They have an outburst usually over something small like paying the small and then it quickly escalates – if we are lucky it doesn’t reach the point of physical confrontation
  • Day 2: I call it an Iceberg Day because when you’re in the house you feel so cold – there is no laughter, light or joy because everybody walking on eggshells wondering if the next thing they say will be the thing to set my father off once again
  • Day 3: Another Iceberg Day
  • Day 4: My father makes coffee for my mum in an effort to smooth things over
  • Day 5: Things are ‘good’ once again
  • Day 6: Things are still ‘good’
  • Day 7: The cycle begins again

Living in this house has taught me that I cannot allow what I witness in the external world to dictate to me whether I’m going to be happy or sad on a given day and with that realization I find myself happy regardless of what day of the cycle my parents are on.


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